Mediation is a powerful resource for families looking to resolve conflict and discuss their best next steps. However, the real challenge often begins after the mediation process, as families work to implement and sustain the agreements they’ve made. At Spectrum, we understand how essential it is to stay on track, build on the progress achieved in mediation, and prevent future misunderstandings. This guide provides practical, supportive advice to help families put their agreements into action and create a foundation for lasting harmony.
1. Make Agreements Clear and Specific
The first step in successfully implementing mediation agreements is to ensure they are clear, specific, and written in plain language. Ambiguity can lead to misinterpretations, so be sure that each party fully understands their responsibilities and the timelines for taking action. When reviewing your mediation agreement, ask yourself:
- Are all terms clearly defined?
- Is there a set schedule or routine for important matters, like parenting time or financial arrangements?
- Are there contingencies in place for possible changes in circumstances? Do you have a process if you cant agree?
Pro tip: Keep a copy of the agreement handy, either printed or stored digitally, so all parties can refer back to it when needed.
2. Create a Family Calendar or Schedule
Managing parenting arrangements and other commitments is easier when everyone can visually track shared obligations. Use a family calendar—whether on paper, an app, or shared online platforms—to outline important dates, like holidays, school breaks, or medical appointments. A calendar reduces the likelihood of last-minute confusion and helps ensure both parties are on the same page.
Consistency is key, so sticking to agreed routines helps children feel secure and supported in their new circumstances.
3. Maintain effective Communication
Post-mediation, it’s essential to keep the lines of communication open. Miscommunication or assumptions can easily undermine an agreement. When communicating there are lots of dos’!
- Do:
- Communicate with the other parent as if they were a work colleague (you are in the business of raising a child together!).
- Be calm, patient, respectful, brief and straightforward.
- Only address issues that are relevant and necessary.
- Find common ground. “I know that we both care about [our child] a lot. What about if….?
- Don’t argue or feel you need to respond to accusations or use accusatory language.
If difficult conversations arise, revisiting the agreement as a reference point can be helpful.
4. Review and Adjust as Needed (if possible)
Life evolves, and so might the needs of your family. While the mediation agreement sets the foundation, it’s important to remain flexible when circumstances change, if you can. It’s not uncommon for parents or other parties to renegotiate or revisit parts of the agreement—whether due to changes in job schedules, children’s needs, or other unforeseen events. If both parties agree, small adjustments can be made without returning to mediation.
If bigger challenges arise, consider scheduling a follow-up session with your mediator to modify the agreement in a way that remains fair and effective.
If it is not possible to engage easily with the other parent, pick your battles and focus on enjoying your time with your child and loved ones.
5. Involve a Support Network
Implementing mediation agreements can be a smoother process when you have support. This could include friends, family members, or professionals such as counsellors, co-parenting coaches, or financial advisors. Sometimes, external guidance can help reinforce the decisions made and offer new perspectives when you hit a roadblock. You might both access some resources or go it alone.
6. Focus on the Well-being of Children
In family mediation, the well-being of children is a top priority. Keeping their needs in mind during post-mediation implementation can serve as a guiding light. Here are a few tips:
- Consistently stick to routines that support their sense of stability.
- Ensure children feel heard and reassured that both parents are committed to their well-being.
- Shield them from ongoing disputes or stress related to the agreement.
- Show them that you value the other parent (even if you find that hard).
Children benefit most when parents present a united front, even if they don’t always see eye-to-eye on everything.
Final Thoughts
Implementing and maintaining agreements post-mediation requires commitment, communication, and flexibility. By following these practical strategies, you’ll be able to uphold the peace and progress you’ve worked hard to achieve during the mediation process. Remember, if challenges arise, seeking additional guidance from your mediator or support network can help keep things on track.
At Spectrum, we are here to support you every step of the way, from mediation to life beyond. If you have any questions or need assistance in implementing your agreements, please feel free to reach out!
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