In my work in family law, conflicts and disputes are a common challenge that separated parents face. Whether it’s disagreements over time arrangements, medical decisions, school choices, or asset division, these issues can often stir up intense emotions and prolonged conflicts.

Each of us holds onto our own set of expectations and beliefs about what is right and wrong in our situation. When these expectations aren’t met, it can lead to frustration, anger, and ongoing disputes. This doesn’t mean we should always avoid difficult topics. Some issues do require resolution. When parents separate, it’s crucial for their children’s well-being that they reach agreements on parenting arrangements and ensuring that everyone has the resources they need to move forward.

But do we need to fight over everything? Are there battles we can choose to let go of? And why does conflict persist?
In my experience working with parents, I often pose the question: What if conflict were optional? Can we choose a different path?
The answer is yes, we can.

What if we shifted our focus? What if, instead of trying to change the other person, we concentrated on what we can control—ourselves and our own actions? What if we prioritised creating a positive environment for our children, free from the detrimental effects of ongoing conflict?

I firmly believe that we have the power to decide whether to engage in ongoing conflict with our ex-partners.

Consider this perspective: While there may never be a perfect parenting arrangement or flawless financial settlement, the one thing that truly harms children is prolonged conflict between their parents. By taking steps to reduce conflict within ourselves and our interactions, we pave the way for a brighter, more stable future for our children.

So, let’s choose to move forward. Let’s embrace the next chapter of our lives with optimism and determination. By focusing on what we can control and letting go of unnecessary conflict, we can create a happier, more harmonious environment for ourselves and our children.